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凭借我们现在的科学技术再加上合适的训练,有可能让一个人成为蝙蝠侠吗?

凭借我们现在的科学技术再加上合适的训练,有可能让一个人成为蝙蝠侠吗?

作者:马克·休斯 编剧、《福布斯》博客博主

我知道人们讨厌那种以“视情况而定”为答案的问题,但这个问题的答案的确是:看情况吧。毕竟我们说的蝙蝠侠,可是那位出现在一系列电影中的、登上众多时下月刊杂志的、来自正义联盟的蝙蝠侠呀。

为了更好地回答你的问题,我准备在这里做一个假设。我们先将电影中蝙蝠侠被忍者训练过一事放在一边,以及连环漫画中蝙蝠侠是否具有像超人等其他角色所有的超能力也一概不理。所说的“成为蝙蝠侠”,是指我们大家一致认可的关于蝙蝠侠的基本概念——一位拥有高超功夫的、具有法医和侦探技巧的、经过严格体能训练的、具备科学和化学的、历史和地理知识的、能解决组织性犯罪的、掌握犯罪心理学和生理学的大师,他还穿着一套刀枪不入、防电击的衣服,但能让他跑得跟奥林匹克冠军一样快,还能像杂技演员那样保持平衡。

问题的简单回答是:不可能。除非你把蝙蝠侠的水平削弱到只是一个强大的、行动迅速的、合格的战斗者,在城市里有巧妙的生存能力,接受了犯罪和心理学方面的知识,穿戴着盔甲和面具。

但蝙蝠侠的特征却假装是现实的,它让我们相信只要有足够的金钱配上足够的训练,我们自己也可以成为蝙蝠侠。尽管如此,蝙蝠侠仍然只是一个幻想,一个更加吸引人的、说服人的却因此带来更多乐趣的幻想。

如果你参军,成为像三角洲特种部队的高级特种队员,同时在晚上主修刑事司法和心理学双学位(还辅修化学),那么你有可能也有时间上周末的侦探课程,获得一个私人侦探执照。然后,大概经过了十年达到了各种能力水平加起来的总和,你可能就是28岁了(如果你刚好是从高中开始的),为了保持体力水平的需要,你在警察局找到了一个工作,也为了学习真正的破案技巧和在街上的、在犯罪现场的侦查工作能力,获得成为一个大师所需的经验。假如说你很优秀,只花了你大概三年的时间,你就成为了高级警探以及各方面的专家,那你就是31岁了,到此你才完成了在一些显而易见的领域能与蝙蝠侠相配的一名专家所需的最基本的准备工作。

现在你必须停止在警察局的工作了,你要为自己准备一个掩饰的身份,这样就没人怀疑蝙蝠侠可能就是那位在他所擅长的各种领域里的专家了。你一定要确保你过的生活不会泄露你关于犯罪和治安维持会的做法等等的真正感受,如果不想蝙蝠侠在城中露脸后的第一时间你就被当做嫌疑人抓起来的话,你需要掩饰好。你还要花些时间在城里演习,在屋顶上找到你的行动路线以及火灾逃生路线,深夜在阴影中四处锻炼奔跑确保不会被别人看到,想必还要开始练习使用你的绳子和钩锚,以及其他你需要在夜间巡逻时使用到的工具。一定要做些演习,在一些紧急情况发生的时候做足准备。

你还得一直搞投资赚钱,积累钱财,因为你要使用到的接近蝙蝠侠在真实世界里使用的科技要花去数百万美元。如果你已经完成了积累财富的过程,你现在就要花钱买一套装甲服装,它具备能够和你的助手进行联系的各种电子工具和夜视功能等等。你需要一个操作的基地,因此你买下一个残旧的、二手的、军方出售的底下导弹发射井(他们会有这些买卖的,在里面会很爽),把它改造成你的秘密大本营,在里面放进你维护治安生活所需的电脑、控制装备、汽车、自行车以及其他用具。

保守估计这时候你可能已经32岁了。你准备在成为蝙蝠侠后的第一个晚上行动了。好吧,你要花的时间比预期的要长,情况也相当难,其实你在各个领域也算不上像蝙蝠侠那样的大师,但至少你具备基本知识,经过良好的训练,你很聪明还有你武器装备精良。因此你开始行动了,你期望能遏制犯罪。

你找呀,找呀。等等,你听到了警笛的声音或者你有个传送器,可以截取警察的无线电呼叫,有一起家庭骚乱正在发生中。然而这可不归蝙蝠侠管,所以你把这起事件留给了警察。接着你听到了一起抢劫案的电话。啊哈!蝙蝠侠终于可以行动了!你奔跑着冲过各个屋顶,摇摇晃晃地跳到另一个屋顶,混蛋!这比连环漫画中看起来要危险得多了。但你要创造奇迹,你竭尽全力在奔跑着,可能你还撞上了什么。每小时十英里?可能你没跑那么快,因为你必须要避开障碍物,在屋顶的边上还要停下来,防止摇晃中再次掉下去。

无论如何,你在屋顶上跑着,从一个屋顶到另外一个屋顶,你突然想到警车已经跑远了,你几乎听不到警笛的声音了。所以你想,嗯,怪不得真正的蝙蝠侠会有一辆车,跑屋顶看起来很酷,但我永远无法及时阻止罪行的发生,如果它不是在附近一两个街区内发生的话。

你没有及时赶上。在头几夜,你不断地出现,但抢劫案、枪击案或者什么别的案件都结束了,你意识到很多的犯罪报道都是在它们发生之后才出现的,而不是在它们发生的过程中出现的。你还想起身为一名警察,你永远不会刚好碰到一起罪行正在发生。实际上,你只是你的城市里面几千名警察中的一员,你们当中的大多数人永远都不会刚好撞见一起特大犯罪的发生。

在第二周,你越来越不高兴,90%的犯罪案件你能碰上的都是可怜的吸毒者从另一个可怜的售毒的吸毒者手中购买毒品以满足他们自己的毒瘾。除了恐吓那些可怜的、无家可归的瘾君子,没有什么让你觉得像蝙蝠侠的所作所为了。你努力去追逐一个打了一位女士、抢了她钱包的小孩,但你在屋顶上跑着就抓不到他了,所以你穿着蝙蝠侠的全套武装在人行道上追那个小孩,这样所有人都看到你了。人们拿出手机赶着给你拍照,十字路口那里还有一辆警车,车上的警察看到了你,他用灯照着你,现在你成了他的追逐对象。你不得不放弃那个小孩,跑进一条小路,从防火梯爬上屋顶逃离。 

最终,在第三周,你的好运气来了——你发现了一起持枪抢劫案,正好发生在街对面。像在电影《黑暗骑士归来》中那样,你跳到他们的车篷上、防风玻璃的边角上。一个坐在乘客座上的青少年惊恐中用他的短枪向你开火,射在了你的身体上。

尽管你穿着盔甲,它只是撕裂了你的服装,把你撞离了车子,撞到了街上,但足够给人造成伤害了。它让你暂时喘不过气来,留给车子充足时间逃跑。你站起来,非常生气,但发现行人们再次给你拍照,还盯着你那撕裂了的衣服看。警察从街角那边过来了,你再次逃跑,但这一次你受伤了,尽管你的盔甲挡住了子弹,但它还是伤了你,把一根肋骨撞断了。你本来跑得很快,但这一次就不够快了。警察们拿着枪命令你停下来,你转过身,要从皮带里拿些烟雾粒帮助你逃离,不幸的是警察误以为你要拿什么别的东西,他们对你开枪了。你的盔甲上一次已被枪击给打破了。这一次……

当你在重症监护病房醒来的时候,你的面具和盔甲都不在了,你浑身疼痛,但医生已经成功地把你身上的子弹取出,还给你的肺充了气帮助你呼吸。你的双手被铐在了床上。作为一名超级侦探,你当然可以轻易地开锁逃脱,但另一方面,手术过后你患上的葡萄球菌感染却非常严重,你感觉想死。所以你静候黑夜降临以潜逃——如果你不在吃完止痛药之后就睡着的话。第二天早晨你醒来的时候,警察过来接你把你带到州监狱的医院,在那,你花了一个月才康复到他们可以把你转移到县监狱接受你的第一次出庭受审。你唯一能给法官的解释就是:“我觉得真的不太可能成为蝙蝠侠。”

天哪!蝙蝠侠!

原文链接

英文原文:

I know everyone hates having a question answered with “it depends,” but…

It depends. WHICH Batman, the one in the current film franchise, the one from the current monthlies, the one from the Justice League, etc etc?

I am going to make an assumption here, in order to best answer your question.  We’ll put aside the issue of Batman trained by ninjas in the films, or the question of whether in the comics Batman operates with sort-of-superpowers when interacting in stories alongside Superman and other such characters.  By “become Batman” you mean the basic concept of Batman that we all could agree upon — a master of martial arts, of forensic and detective skills, of gymnastics, of science and chemistry, of history and geography, of the workings of organized crime, of criminal psychology and physiology, and a man with a suit offering protection against bullets and knives and electrocution but which allows him to move as fast as an Olympian runner and acrobat.

The simple answer is, no.  Unless you really boil Batman down to a very diluted level as just a really strong, fast, good fighter who can jump far and with good street smarts plus an education in crime and psychology, and who wears a lot of armor and a mask.

The genius of Batman is that it pretends to be realistic, it lets us convince ourselves that with enough money and training, we could become Batman, too. But it’s still fantasy, it’s just a fantasy that is more compelling and convincing and thus more fun.

If you joined the military and became something like a Delta Force commando of the highest quality, while studying nights to get a double-major in criminal justice and psychology (with a minor in chemistry), then you might also have time to take weekend courses in detective work and get a P.I. license. Then, after probably 10 years to reach all of those levels combined, you might be 28 (if you started right out of high school) and would then need to maintain your physical level while getting a job as a police officer in order to learn real crime solving and detective work on the streets and at crime scenes, to get the experience it would really take to be a master.  Let’s say you are so good it only takes you perhaps three years to become a top detective and expert in these regards — now you are 31, and just finished the most basic level of preparation you need to be an expert in just some of the most obvious fields required to match Batman.

Now you have to quit the force, and develop a good cover story for yourself so nobody suspects that Batman might be the guy who is an expert in all of those fields Batman is a master at.  You have to have made sure you lived your life never revealing your true feelings about crime and vigilantism etc, and in fact covering it up unless you want to be arrested as a suspect the first time Batman has been around town. You need to spend some time doing dry runs around town to find your way around rooftops and fire escapes, practice running around at night in the shadows and not being seen, and presumably start practicing using your ropes and grappling hooks and other equipment you need for nightly patrols. Do some dry runs, make final preparations in case of emergencies, etc.

And you need to have been investing money and amassing a fortune the entire time, because the technology you’ll need to even get close to a real-world version of Batman will cost millions of dollars.  So you’ve done that, and now you start spending the money to get an armored suit full of electronics to communicate with assistants and have night vision and so on.  You need a base of operations, so you buy one of those old used missile silos the military sells (yeah, they really do that, and it’s pretty cool inside them) and turn it into a secret headquarters for the computers and monitoring equipment and car and bike and other equipment you need for your vigilante life.

Conservatively, you should probably be about 32 at this point. And you are only about to go out on your first night as Batman.  Okay, it’s taken longer than expected and been pretty hard, and honestly you are not quite as much a master of all fields as Batman, but at least you got the basics and are pretty well trained and smart and equipped.  So off you go, looking to stop crime…

…and you’re looking.  And looking. Oh, wait, you hear police sirens or you get a transmission from picking up the police radio calls, there’s a domestic disturbance in progress… well, that’s not really what Batman does, so you let that one go to the cops.  Then you get another call about a robbery, ah ha!  Finally Batman is going into action!  You run across those rooftops, swing across to another roof — whoa crap, that was a lot more dangerous than it looks in the comics!  But you’re booking it, running flat out and probably hitting, what, a good 10 miles per hour? Maybe less actually because of having to dodge things and stop at the edge of the roof to swing down again.

Anyway, there you are, rooftop to rooftop, and it occurs to you that the cop cars are so far gone now that you barely hear the sirens. So you think “Hmm, no wonder the real Batman has a car, this rooftop thing looks cool but I’ll never make it in time to stop a crime that isn’t happening within a block or two.”

And you don’t — make it in time, that is.  The first few nights, you keep showing up and the robberies or shootings or whatever are already over, and you realize that this makes sense because most reports about crimes are only after it happens, not while it’s taking place.  And you also remember that as a cop, you almost never just walked up or drove up accidentally right where a crime happened to taking place. In fact, you were just one of several thousand cops in your city, and most of you never just stumbled right across a significant crime in progress.

By your second week, you are getting unhappy that 90% of the crimes you’ve even seen up-close are just pathetic junkies buying crack from another pathetic junkie selling drugs to support his/her own habit. And nothing makes you feel LESS like Batman than scaring sad homeless crackheads.  You tried to chase down a kid who you saw punch a lady and take her purse, but you can’t really pursue that kind of thing by running on rooftops, you gotta do it the hard way by chasing him on foot down the sidewalk… in your full Batman costume, where everybody can see you. People are taking photos on cell-phones, and yep there’s a cop car at the intersection and he saw you, and now he has his lights on and it’s YOU he’s after. Great, you have to let the kid go so you can run down an alley and climb up a fire escape to the roof to get away.

At last, week three, you get lucky — an armed robbery, right there across the street!  You leap down onto the hood of their car, cape over the windshield just like in The Dark Knight Returns. And a teenage kid in the passenger seat fires a shotgun though the windshield in panic, blasting your torso.

You are wearing armor, though, haha!  So it merely shreds your costume and knocks you off the car onto the street, but man that hurts!  And it takes your breath away just long enough for the car to speed off. You get up, angry and just in time to see everyone taking your photo again and staring at your shredded outfit.  Then the police come around the corner, and you run off again but this time you are injured because although the armor stopped the slug it still bruised you and broke a rib.  You are fast, but not fast enough this time.  The police draw their guns and order you to stop.  You turn and grab for the smoke pellet on your belt to help hide your getaway, but unfortunately for you the cops see you reaching for something and open fire… and you suit’s armor is already a mess from the shotgun blast earlier. Uh oh.

When you wake up in the ICU, your mask and costume are gone, you’re in a lot of pain, but the doctors successfully removed the bullets and re-inflated your lung.  The downside is the set of handcuffs trapping you in the bed.  As a master detective, you can of course easily pick the lock on the cuffs to escape, but on the other hand the staph infection you caught after surgery is pretty bad and you feel like s**t. So you wait until night to sneak out — except you fall asleep on your pain meds, and wake up the next morning to the police coming to pick you up and take you to the infirmary at the state prison. Where you will spend a month recuperating until they can transfer you to the county jail for your first court appearance. During which your only comment to the judge is, “I guess it’s not really possible to become Batman.”

Na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na! Batman!

 


 

凭借我们现在的科学技术再加上合适的训练,有可能让一个人成为蝙蝠侠吗?
本作品采用知识共享署名-非商业性使用-禁止演绎进行许可。

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